Posted by Djinnie on Apr 16, 2020 1:53:35 GMT -5
The Amazon Prime logo appears before we fade into the familiar scene of the studio and EPIC’s own Bridget Lewis-Killings there to greet the camera. She smiles as the camera zooms in a bit closer before she begins to speak.
Bridget Lewis-Killings: With EPIC REBIRTH just days away, the wrestling world has been waiting in anticipation to find out the mysterious stipulation for the match between Drake Connors and Xiuhua Zhou, known as Dizzie, which has been teased for several weeks now. In a press conference which took place last night, to accommodate Ms. Zhou’s upcoming travels, EPIC co-owner Analicia Morales-Connors was on hand with both competitors for the grand announcement in front of select media and representatives. After much deliberation between EPIC and executives over at Amazon, it was decided that this needed to be seen in its entirety to be believed rather than the usual press release format. So ladies and gentlemen, I give you the very first EPIC teaser exclusive of the match conference, presented by Amazon.
Directing the attention to the monitor, the feed switches to a small auditorium where we see EPIC co-owner Analicia Morales-Connors standing at a podium. In the corner is read: “Footage Courtesy of WrestleBuzz.net” and stood in front of the stage are several reporters and representatives from different wrestling and other media outlets. She gives a small smile and nod before speaking into the microphone attached to the podium.
Analicia Morales-Connors: Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed guests, it’s my absolute pleasure to have you here tonight as I present exclusive news on behalf of EPIC. As you may know, EPIC makes its return to the pay-per-view market with our REBIRTH event and one of the marquee matches being featured is “The Dark Angel” Drake Connors taking on “The Black Belt Empress” Xiuhua ‘Dizzie’ Zhou. However what has yet to be revealed for that match is the stipulation, that is until tonight. But before I happily announce the match type, I have another surprise for you all. With me here tonight to promote the match as well are both Xiuhua Zhou and Drake Connors!
There is a respectable applause from those present as Dizzie and Drake walk on to the stage from opposite sides. They each take their place to the left and right of Analicia who once again smiles, nodding to both athletes, continuing shortly after.
Analicia Morales-Connors: Thank you both very much for joining me this evening. Now that I have the two of you on stage, it is now time for the big reveal. The stipulation for the intense clash between Drake and Dizzie is….
Analicia pauses for a second looking over to her left, and to Drake with an impatient smile before not so lightly tapping him on the arm to get his attention. Connors snaps out of his ‘I hate this type of stuff’ daze to reach into his pocket and pull out a crumpled piece of paper he hands to Analicia, which she is quick to snatch. Unfolding the paper she speaks up once again.
Analicia Morales-Connors: As I was saying, the stipulation for the match is a..No Rope 200 Volt Double Hell Double Barbed Wire Barricade Double Landmine Crushed Glass Electrical Barbed Wire Deathmatch? What the fuck is this?!
Several gasps can be heard coming from those in attendance while a tiny hint of a chuckle is heard from behind the camera. Analicia looks first at Dizzie and then at Drake in complete shock. Dizzie slowly raises her arm, doing her best to keep a straight face before speaking.
Dizzie: You forgot the part about it being in a glass cell.
Analicia Morales-Connors: Glass Cell?! Are you fucking kid..how am I supposed to get a damn glass cell on such short...you two are going to be the death of me.
Turning away from the podium, Analicia looks at Drake with that look, poking at him a few times, looking highly irritated, seemingly not realizing that she’s still loud enough to be heard.
Analicia Morales-Connors: I thought you said this was just going to be a normal deathmatch with weapons and shit, when the hell did all this get added?!
Drake Connors: During our sparring session good God woman.
Analicia Morales-Connors: Don’t you good God me when I’m supposed to be out here presenting this damn thing! Especially when you know I fucking hate things like this and gladly leave the shit to Quinn’s corporate kiss ass!
Drake clears his throat and points at the camera with a slight smirk on his face. Analicia’s eyes widen as she slowly turns around and faces the crowd of shocked personnel.
Analicia Morales-Connors: Oh shit….
Letting out a sigh, Analicia steps back to the podium, trying her best to collect herself. As she goes to speak, faint sounds of whispering can be heard going on between Drake and Dizzie who look pretty amused by the whole thing. Analicia doesn’t even turn this time as she snaps.
Analicia Morales-Connors: Are you two seriously whispering like fucking school children?!
Dizzie and Drake step away from each other, the young woman covering her mouth to hide her expression while Connors hangs his head pouting.
Drake Connors: I’m sowwy… Are you gonna punish me later mamí?
Not turning back to look at him Analicia coldly responds.
Analicia Morales-Connors: Fine.
Several murmurs can be heard amongst the small group now with Analicia not even caring as she just softly slams her head against the podium. Drake walks over to his wife and uses his hands to bring her head back up.
Drake Connors: Hey, you. Stand up! Don’t let them kink shame us.
Analicia laughs almost maniacally before giving her husband a soft peck on the cheek. She then lets out a sigh and just puts her hands up like ‘what-the-fuck-ever’ before going on.
Analicia Morales-Connors: Thank you baby. Now look? These two fucking nutcases want to have a Glass Cell Explosion Everyone Dies And We Get Sued Match, FINE!! It’s official! EPIC is so much fun, right honey?! I’m the FUN boss! Well there you go, match revealed! Good FUCKING night everybody!!
Turning away from the podium, Analicia storms off, hand in hand with Connors, leaving everyone else in a state of pure disbelief. A few more tiny chuckles can be heard before the feed cuts and we return to Bridget in the studio.
Bridget Lewis-Killings: As stated earlier, it had to be seen to be truly believed. When reached for a comment by the media following the presentation Dizzie was quoted as saying ‘Yo that was hilarious, she just blew up like a volcano. I got a flight to catch, but that -ahem- ish made my night.’ Personnel tried reaching Drake Connors for a comment as well via a media call, but he only yelled ‘Don’t kink shame me bro’ before abruptly disconnecting. The following day we received an official statement from EPIC co-owner Analicia Morales-Connors which reads ‘Now everyone sees why I leave Robert to -ahem- stuff like this. Let him have that fun, I’ll stick to other matters within the company and the talent. Also I respectfully request that you not kink shame me or my husband.’ Robert Quinn himself has yet to release an official statement on the matter. However with the surprisingly positive response by Amazon officials when it comes to EPIC’s ‘off the wall antics’ I’ve been informed that this will be the first of many Amazon exclusive teasers. Now on behalf of everyone in the company, I thank you for tuning into this special presentation, look forward to seeing you again for REBIRTH, and wish that you all take care.
Offering a final smile, Bridget gives a soft nod as the scene fades to the Amazon Prime logo before cutting off.
Bridget Lewis-Killings: With EPIC REBIRTH just days away, the wrestling world has been waiting in anticipation to find out the mysterious stipulation for the match between Drake Connors and Xiuhua Zhou, known as Dizzie, which has been teased for several weeks now. In a press conference which took place last night, to accommodate Ms. Zhou’s upcoming travels, EPIC co-owner Analicia Morales-Connors was on hand with both competitors for the grand announcement in front of select media and representatives. After much deliberation between EPIC and executives over at Amazon, it was decided that this needed to be seen in its entirety to be believed rather than the usual press release format. So ladies and gentlemen, I give you the very first EPIC teaser exclusive of the match conference, presented by Amazon.
Directing the attention to the monitor, the feed switches to a small auditorium where we see EPIC co-owner Analicia Morales-Connors standing at a podium. In the corner is read: “Footage Courtesy of WrestleBuzz.net” and stood in front of the stage are several reporters and representatives from different wrestling and other media outlets. She gives a small smile and nod before speaking into the microphone attached to the podium.
Analicia Morales-Connors: Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed guests, it’s my absolute pleasure to have you here tonight as I present exclusive news on behalf of EPIC. As you may know, EPIC makes its return to the pay-per-view market with our REBIRTH event and one of the marquee matches being featured is “The Dark Angel” Drake Connors taking on “The Black Belt Empress” Xiuhua ‘Dizzie’ Zhou. However what has yet to be revealed for that match is the stipulation, that is until tonight. But before I happily announce the match type, I have another surprise for you all. With me here tonight to promote the match as well are both Xiuhua Zhou and Drake Connors!
There is a respectable applause from those present as Dizzie and Drake walk on to the stage from opposite sides. They each take their place to the left and right of Analicia who once again smiles, nodding to both athletes, continuing shortly after.
Analicia Morales-Connors: Thank you both very much for joining me this evening. Now that I have the two of you on stage, it is now time for the big reveal. The stipulation for the intense clash between Drake and Dizzie is….
Analicia pauses for a second looking over to her left, and to Drake with an impatient smile before not so lightly tapping him on the arm to get his attention. Connors snaps out of his ‘I hate this type of stuff’ daze to reach into his pocket and pull out a crumpled piece of paper he hands to Analicia, which she is quick to snatch. Unfolding the paper she speaks up once again.
Analicia Morales-Connors: As I was saying, the stipulation for the match is a..No Rope 200 Volt Double Hell Double Barbed Wire Barricade Double Landmine Crushed Glass Electrical Barbed Wire Deathmatch? What the fuck is this?!
Several gasps can be heard coming from those in attendance while a tiny hint of a chuckle is heard from behind the camera. Analicia looks first at Dizzie and then at Drake in complete shock. Dizzie slowly raises her arm, doing her best to keep a straight face before speaking.
Dizzie: You forgot the part about it being in a glass cell.
Analicia Morales-Connors: Glass Cell?! Are you fucking kid..how am I supposed to get a damn glass cell on such short...you two are going to be the death of me.
Turning away from the podium, Analicia looks at Drake with that look, poking at him a few times, looking highly irritated, seemingly not realizing that she’s still loud enough to be heard.
Analicia Morales-Connors: I thought you said this was just going to be a normal deathmatch with weapons and shit, when the hell did all this get added?!
Drake Connors: During our sparring session good God woman.
Analicia Morales-Connors: Don’t you good God me when I’m supposed to be out here presenting this damn thing! Especially when you know I fucking hate things like this and gladly leave the shit to Quinn’s corporate kiss ass!
Drake clears his throat and points at the camera with a slight smirk on his face. Analicia’s eyes widen as she slowly turns around and faces the crowd of shocked personnel.
Analicia Morales-Connors: Oh shit….
Letting out a sigh, Analicia steps back to the podium, trying her best to collect herself. As she goes to speak, faint sounds of whispering can be heard going on between Drake and Dizzie who look pretty amused by the whole thing. Analicia doesn’t even turn this time as she snaps.
Analicia Morales-Connors: Are you two seriously whispering like fucking school children?!
Dizzie and Drake step away from each other, the young woman covering her mouth to hide her expression while Connors hangs his head pouting.
Drake Connors: I’m sowwy… Are you gonna punish me later mamí?
Not turning back to look at him Analicia coldly responds.
Analicia Morales-Connors: Fine.
Several murmurs can be heard amongst the small group now with Analicia not even caring as she just softly slams her head against the podium. Drake walks over to his wife and uses his hands to bring her head back up.
Drake Connors: Hey, you. Stand up! Don’t let them kink shame us.
Analicia laughs almost maniacally before giving her husband a soft peck on the cheek. She then lets out a sigh and just puts her hands up like ‘what-the-fuck-ever’ before going on.
Analicia Morales-Connors: Thank you baby. Now look? These two fucking nutcases want to have a Glass Cell Explosion Everyone Dies And We Get Sued Match, FINE!! It’s official! EPIC is so much fun, right honey?! I’m the FUN boss! Well there you go, match revealed! Good FUCKING night everybody!!
Turning away from the podium, Analicia storms off, hand in hand with Connors, leaving everyone else in a state of pure disbelief. A few more tiny chuckles can be heard before the feed cuts and we return to Bridget in the studio.
Bridget Lewis-Killings: As stated earlier, it had to be seen to be truly believed. When reached for a comment by the media following the presentation Dizzie was quoted as saying ‘Yo that was hilarious, she just blew up like a volcano. I got a flight to catch, but that -ahem- ish made my night.’ Personnel tried reaching Drake Connors for a comment as well via a media call, but he only yelled ‘Don’t kink shame me bro’ before abruptly disconnecting. The following day we received an official statement from EPIC co-owner Analicia Morales-Connors which reads ‘Now everyone sees why I leave Robert to -ahem- stuff like this. Let him have that fun, I’ll stick to other matters within the company and the talent. Also I respectfully request that you not kink shame me or my husband.’ Robert Quinn himself has yet to release an official statement on the matter. However with the surprisingly positive response by Amazon officials when it comes to EPIC’s ‘off the wall antics’ I’ve been informed that this will be the first of many Amazon exclusive teasers. Now on behalf of everyone in the company, I thank you for tuning into this special presentation, look forward to seeing you again for REBIRTH, and wish that you all take care.
Offering a final smile, Bridget gives a soft nod as the scene fades to the Amazon Prime logo before cutting off.